"No"

i finally mustered up enough courage to ask her the question and my worst fears came true --- she turned me down. said that i had said earlier that i didn't want anyone else there (did i really say that --- i don't remember; could it possibly be taken out of context?).

i said that she was there for my sister and brother, couldn't she be there for me too? who was i kidding, what was i hoping for??? the answer that i got was one that i'd feared all along --- no.

how i miss dad... this achievement of mine is for dad, for never giving up on me, for always believing that i could do it even at times when i didn't...

i truly want to share this moment with my parents, but if she doesn't want to be part of it, i can't make her.

i worked very hard for this milestone in my life. i just wish my one remaining parent could be there to share in the joy but if that is not possible, i will accept that it is my fate.

i know that dad will there for me. i know he will be proud of me and i suppose, that is all that i need.