trust

I set up a blog page a couple of months back as a pilot project on collaborative writing. Since it was a collaborative writing project, I kicked started it with someone who, at that point in time, I considered was a pal of mine. I didn't know how it would go and that was just it --- that is what pilot projects are really all about.

Two months down the road, he slows down on it (down to no contributions) and I am left with a collaborative project with no one to work with. So... in comes H, another pal of mine who was kind enough to help out in my project. Out of courtesy, I texted G to ask him if he would mind having someone else participate in the project (never mind that his contribution to the blog site was absolutely nil at that point!). Anyway... as it turns out, he doesn't answer my simple yes/no question but insteads asks me a list of what seemed like endless questions about the new participant. At the end of it all, he asks if this new participant is an ex (like... why should that even be an issue???). Truth be told, it was MY pilot study and I had control over the project and who got on it (and if I so wished, who got thrown out of it as well). But he wanted to turn this into a territorial game instead.

I just wish that G would grow up... but I know that is simply wishful thinking on my part. It is not ever going to happen. It upsets me that G is unable to share the sandbox with others and that he is so suspicious of my intentions and of the people around me. I guess, he must be doing it on purpose. He just wants to fight and win at whatever cost it may take. He doesn't know what it means to be a friend. He only wants to provoke. It seems very likely that he will lose me again... and this time around, I'm not sure I would reconsider having him back on my pals list. A real pal wouldn't set out to control the other... and that is what he is doing...it is all about control with him. Everything has to be about him... I don't think that he even stopped a moment to think how it is going to affect me as it is my pilot study.

He says that I am evasive. Truth be told, I've offered to lay down the cards on the table, to tell him everything but he avoids such a meeting saying that the Swiss CEO is in town, he has to entertain his international colleagues, he is ill (yup, ill with early signs of pneumonia but I later find out that as "ill" as he was, he wasn't too ill for the 12 hour plane trip back to the UK... so much for getting pneumonia and about to die and not seeing his 42nd birthday). Yes, the signs are loud and clear, he doesn't want to hear the truth and if he did, he probably couldn't handle it. He just wants to be a pain in the rear end. Complain, complain, complain but when truth is offered, he avoids it.

I guess, I could do without him... if he's hurting me this much, he isn't worth my time.