Taking a Chance on Love

I've always wondered why there's this person whom I dated years ago really sucked at being a BF but turns out to be a wonderful online pal.

You had trust issues. You were wary of me because I talked so little about myself. I'm an introvert, more of a listener than a talker.

You said that you didn't even know where I worked. You could have offered to send me to work on Saturday mornings but you'd rather stay in bed. You couldn't even get out of bed to walk me to my car. I walked to my car alone. It would have been nice to have you walk me to my car and kiss me before I left for work... but that didn't happen.

You said that you didn't even know where I lived. Do you have any idea how happy it would have made me if you had offered to pick me up from home for a date? Instead, I always met up with you at your place as I didn't want to inconvenience you.

You were constantly suspicious of me and I only wanted to be loved. One night, you confronted me over a text message that someone sent me on my phone (yes, you checked my phone while I was in the bathroom). I have absolutely NO CONTROL over what someone else is going to text me. You accused me of seeing someone else.

One night, I went out with my friends. You rang me and insisted that I turn up at your front door that very night and that if I didn't, it would be over between us. I didn't turn up at your front door. Yes, I too can be quite adamant. I didn't turn up because I knew that such ultimatums were not the way to make any relationship work. I didn't turn up because it hurt too much trying to make it work with someone who didn't know that he wanted me.

Much later, you realize that I am real. Much, much later... we are still friends.

I am thankful for the experience. I so wanted to be loved by you but I failed to realise that you weren't ready to love and be loved. You were looking for all the excuses under the sun as to why it could not work out between us. You didn't want it to work out. If only you were looking for all the reasons under the sun as to why it could work out wonderfully for us, you would have seen that I was there for you.

I took a chance on you. Sadly, you didn't take a chance on me...