my favorite shot

this is my favorite shot of justin bieber and his gf.  it just makes me go "Awwww......"  i think there is just something so sweet and tender about this pic... maybe because it illustrates love... it shows that he loves her, the way he is holding her, protecting her....

hand dance

i simply love this video clip!!!

Why He's So Last Minute & She's Got It All Wrapped Up by Allan & Barbara Pease

i've just finished reading this book.  certain parts of this book were from their original book entitled why men don't listen and women can't read maps.

thoughts

there are times i wonder if my mother loves me as much as she loves the others.  there are times when i wonder if she loves me at all.

i am criticized for being me.  i am not perfect but i am her daughter...

i miss ayah.  perhaps that is why i relate better to ayah.  mak was always involved with my sisters while i was growing up.  i was the quiet one... the one in the shadows... the one always watching the others in the limelight.  perhaps that was how i became the me i am today, always watching the others in the limelight.

i hurt most of the time but i try not to show it.  perhaps i am doing such a fantastic job at hiding my hurt that mak doesn't realize that i am hurting inside.  i only want to be loved the way that she loves my siblings. am i asking for  too much?

i try not to let it get to me most of the time but sometimes, just sometimes, i wish that she would show me that she loves me for who i am...

i wish she would spare me all the complaints and judgments that she spares my siblings. she's all smiles with them and she speaks ever so sweetly to them.  to me, well, that a different case... i too would like to be treated with all smiles and sweetness, i don't want to hear about what's not right.  i want to hear about what's going on right, for a change. i want to be told, even for just one moment, that i matter.... am i asking for the impossible?

unloved

my mother keeps saying that i am "a terrible person" (she has said this more than once and on different occasions).  today she said something like if people saw me, they would  probably think that my brother is a terrible person too but on the contrary, he is such a sweet soul.  yeah, i know, how better to put me down.   i feel really offended.  okay, i know that she doesn't love me as much as she loves my sisters and brother but does she have to say that i am a terrible person???  i'm hurt. most people, my mother included, fail to realize that i am a sensitive soul.  i let such comments slide when i hear her say it because i don't want to have any arguments but am i really such a terrible soul???

i cannot help but think of the times when i was a child and when i was unhappy --- i would associate myself with my dad.  i never felt that dad loved me less than my other siblings but around mom, i feel it loads.

Lucky Man: A Memoir by Michael J. Fox

this is what i'm currently reading.  it's another one of my bookcrossing finds and i'm enjoying reading it.

is age catching up with me???

ever had one of those moments when your brain just goes blank and something you know is lost???

it happened to me today.  i totally forgot my password for the copier machine at work.  it's a five digit number, and i remembered the last three but totally was clueless as to what the first two was!!!

i told myself not to panic and to breathe... after a good 15 to 20 minutes of trial and error, the numbers finally came back to me... only for me to discover that after making 20 copies that i had maxed out on my limit!!!  rats!!!

am i a hopeless romantic???

many of my students place more importance on money than on love.  they believe that when there is money, there would be love.

i am a believer in finding love for until you have love in your life, you will forever be searching for that missing part of you. it seems as if we come from different planets... maybe we do... i'm a hopeless romantic and there are hopelessly practical.

perhaps they have yet to find love... and until they do, they will never understand how satisfying it can be just to be in the presence of your loved one even if the two of you are just reading books in the same space.

A Kiss to Dream On by Nessa Hart

this is what i'm currently reading.  it's another one of my bookcrossing finds. 

The Secret Between Us by Barbara Delinsky

this is another one of the books that i picked up at bookcrossing in 1-utama.  its not the kind of book that i would have purchased myself.